The MOST Beautiful Vintage 1950s Wedding Dresses Evar.

If you dream of wearing a 1950s vintage Mad Men-inspired wedding dress (though hopefully you don't aspire to a marriage like Joan or Betty's) AND have a waist that's less than like 27 inches, check out these dream-worthy vintage wedding dresses from Etsy seller Fab Gabs, who even styles her seller's photos so it looks as if she's partying like it's 1959.

($395, William Cahill, Fabgabs.etsy.com)

This dress has FIVE -- count 'em, FIVE -- Mcdreamy layers of tulle. You could be riding a bike or wearing snow pants under there and no one would know. It's so gorgeous I can barely breathe. Bury me in it. But leave the back unzipped, because this bad boy's got a 25" waist. Talk about waiting to exhale. (Shooby!) And credit where it's due -- The Bridal Wishlist scouted this one out!

($225, Fabgabs.etsy.com)

SIX layers of tulle! FOR WHEN FIVE will not do! It's SO beautiful, and I love the sweetheart neckline, but with a 28" underbust: 28" and 24" waist, I'd have to get several ribs removed and drink all my meals through a straw. Ah, but what price fashion? (Side note: the woman who sold me my wedding dress told me that a girl she sold a dress to had to cancel her final fitting because she'd starved herself to the point that she fell over and cracked her head open and had to get about 40 stitches. AHH, admirable committment!)

($250, Fabgabs.etsy.com)

My absolute favorite for that super lacey post-modern dash of Madonna.

PS -- I know I'm probably tardy to the party, but did you see Christina Hendricks on/ in In Style Weddings? (That's my only other non-barfy bridal mag besides New York Magazine Weddings.)

TEAM JOAN! Girl, you could do sidebends and sit-ups, but PLEASE don't lose that butt!