I WENT TO TOPSHOP, YOU GUISE! YOU GUISE I WENT TO TOPSHOP!

YOU GUYS I WENT I WENT I WENT! It wasn't a dream, it was a reality. Not only did I STEP FOOT into the 25,000-square foot emporium of sparkly, fringed, multi-tiered British shopping nirvana. I came, I saw, I tried stuff on, and, upon realizing that the prices were more Barney's Coop Warehouse clearance rack than H&M, I put about half of it back. Seriously, the average price of everything I looked seemed to be around $70. Per item. Seriously.

I did end up splurging and getting three items, mostly, I think due to the fact that I was on a total Topshop high after waiting for YEARS. I mean, I bought a lot of Topshop stuff when I was in the UK the other year, but it's all fun and games when you're on high on vacation, and foreign currency feels like funny money (look at all the funny colors and the weird people on the smaller, wider bills! Tee!), but, unlike H&M where you can roll out with a packed shopping bag for under $100, plan on walking out with MAYBE one choice item for $100 if you're a budget (and the Binge is generally on a budget).

That said, here are the three things I did buy:

($90, Topshop)

Again, not cheap, but it is 100% silk, and it fit PERFECTLY.

($90, Topshop)

I couldn't resist these ridiculously '80s acid-washed skinny jeans. I love the pleating on the side. Why not?

($55, Topshop)

This black cotton top also fit well and has great zippers on the shoulders. Hee!


Wanted, didn't buy:

($125, Topshop)

Tried these suede nude bow heels, loved them, but I ended up not getting them. Had to draw the line somewhere, you know?

($135, Topshop)

These ridiculous patent platforms were fun... to look at... but seriously, they were about 17 inches high. Like, it hurt my neck just like looking up at a heel that high. They'd be perfect if they were about NINE INCHES shorter.

Things at Topshop I Didn't Really Understand:

($125, Topshop)

Two-tone bomber jacket? Uh, perfect for your Boys II Men tribute band.

($180, Topshop)

This silk bomber is cute if you're Katy Perry and you're, like, recreating a scene in A League Of their Own. But chances are, you're not.

($510, Topshop)

Suede leggings. For FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS. AMERICAN. !?!?!?!?!?!!? What... The... SHIT?

($410, Topshop)

This grey suede skirt's cool, but for $410? You could easily find something WAY cheaper on eBay or at a thrift store.

($44, Topshop)

Um, $44 for THIS screenprinted piece of chara? (And it WAS chara in person.) Sad face.

Anyway, will I go back to Topshop? Not until the hysteria dies down. After that? DUH! Of course I will! But again, the prices felt like they were converted directly from their British equivalent. Therefore most of us "regular folks" definitely won't experience the bag-filling glory of H&M. Instead, you'll probably walk out with one or two choice pieces, but hopefully they'll be Topshop treasures.

+ Check out photos of Topshop, courtesy of Racked.
+ Racked's Topshop coverage.