Big-Busted Bathing Suit Bonanza!

In real life, I'm pretty much a straightshooter. Online however, since we haven't exactly all met or anything, I tend to air on the more discreet side -- I'm just not the type of blogger who likes to blog about personal stuff like past sexual partners or number of weekly poos I take or that sort of thing. But, I'll be blunt about this because it's no big secret, it's something many of you readers out there can sympathize with, and because it's pretty obvious -- while I'm short (5'2") and small (around size 8), I ain't exactly wee on top. Like I said -- no big secret. They're quite real, and they're quite a hassle, especially when shopping for bras and bathing suits, and coincidentally I shopped for both this weekend. The former yielded more successful results. The latter, however... oy.

I tried on this lovely one-piece (it's gonna be a one-piece summer, my friends) at Bird:

($99, Mocium, Bird)

Surprisingly the butt and tum looked great! The top, however, covered basically not a damn thing. It was like comically pornographic looking. Like Pam Anderson in Baywatch, minus the gravity-defying silicon. Not cute. Seriously, this suit is for AAAAAAAA cups. I seriously felt a bit like this:



... Minus the bulge. Use your imagination. It was ridiculous. So when I got home, I Googled, in a rather rudimentary fashion, "big-busted bathing suits." Again, slightly ridiculous, I know. To my surprise though, I found some really cute stuff for those of us out there who are a weeeee bit bigger than a C and can't exactly pop in and buy suits right off the rack at Target or Old Navy. And, because some of you can, I threw in some "regular lady" suits too, so everyone feels like they win.

($99, Fantasie of England, Biggerbras.com)

I can't really tell if this is granny-ish or not, but I think it could actually be kinda cute. By the way, I'd never heard of Biggerbras.com, but it looks like most of the bathing suits start at D cups. Yay!

($89, Sunflair, Carabella.com)

Classic sweet polka dots. I like the piping at the neckline.

($75, Popina)

Sweet, but if you're gonna do polka dots, I think it's best to keep them black-and-white.

($39, Shape fx, Carabella)

I'm a bigger fan of this turquoise shade than the robin's egg blue above. And while the jeweled strap is a weeee bit cheeze-say, you can't deny the awesome slimming powers of shirring. Plus, this suit's got a built-in shelf bra, which is a must, obviously. I might try this one out. And also, I must say, I'd never heard of Carabella, but I'm definitely glad I discovered in my "big booby bathing suit" search, because their selection, range of sizes, and prices are great.

($39, Shape fx, Carabella)

Love the soft grey and the super femme style here. And, YO! $39!

($63, Rochford, Biggerbras.com)

It's a little '80s but still really cute. The tie = quite waist-enhancing, which is a good thing, especially if you've got lotsa business up top.

($39, Shoshanna, Bluefly)

($29, Shoshanna, Bluefly)

Shoshanna makes some of my favorite bathing suits -- especially bikinis -- for the well-endowed lady, erm, even though this one's only available (or only in stock) in up to a C cup. But check out the cute treasure chest theme on the soft pink background! Cute cute cute!

(Top: $11.95, bottom: $8.95, Carabella.com)

See, regular-chested lady? I care about you too!