I Bought It: Miu Miu-Alike French Connection Dandy Voile Dress

French Connection

I've been in the market for some slightly more professional dresses -- I work in online content for MTV, so this is pretty professional in my realm. I don't exactly need a Chanel suit or whatever (though Chanel, if you're reading this and have some kind of blogger suit program, I'd be happy to wear one to work and watch people's WTH faces). Also, I've been scratching a LOT of impulse buy itches lately, and this French Connection dress was one them. I was at Bloomingdale's, and this pretty much leaped up into my arms like a lost puppy looking for a home. It practically licked my face. Annoyingly, I paid $148 for it (very unlike to me to whip out one and a half Benjamins, but again, this poor dress, it needed a home -- also, I don't carry "Benjamins." I don't think I've ever seen a real 100-dollar bill in my life except maybe in mafia movies... I really need richer friends) and then I saw it on French Connection online for half that, but it was sold out, so whatever. It fit perfectly, despite the fact that it was about 128 sizes larger than the three sizes I might normally wear. (Looks like I'm not the only one who finds that French Connection likes to size up.)

Anyway, as much as I love Mad Men-style everything (duh -- I'm in my '30s and live in Brooklyn. It's a given), there's a time and a place to dress like Joan Holloway, and a time and place to be not costumey. So while the pleated, nipped-waist style feels retro, the ruffled sleeves keep this from looking like you're swilling a Manhattan and vying for Don Draper's attention. It's like Mad Men meets Gaga.

Oh, and the print kinda references Miu Miu, no?

($1094, Miu Miu, Mytheresa.com)

Hmm. Maybe I did get a good deal after all.

I Left Behind This Eskell Dress And I'm Gilt-Free

I LOVE Gilt. And Rue La La. And Ideeli. But that's the problem. I love them. And sometimes when you love something you need to take a little break. And so it was with no lack of Herculean effort that I stepped AWAY from the monitor, after I'd added this adorable silk Eskell Lucine dress with a yin/yang confetti print AND drawstring waist (I LOVE a drawstring waist -- SO flattering on a curvy lady like myself) and I closed out my screen. Sad, I know. (Plus, I should've been a more conscientious shopper and removed it from my cart -- sorry!) But we're not out of this economic crisis, and I need to start demonstrating more of the financial responsibility I had... at some point or another. Mama gotta start living off the fat of the land for a while. The fat of the land being the trillions of things I already own, of course.

($99, Eskell, Giltgroupe.com)

And so, goodbye, Eskell dress! I hardly knew ye! Take it away, Nazareth!

Mara Hoffman Is Killing Me Softly

... Case in point:

($290, Mara Hoffman, Bonadrag.com)

This J. Crew Dress Is Taking Over My Life

IMPORTANT UPDATE: I tried this on and it SUCKED. I looked like some kind of neon and peach monk. Not at all flattering on a short, curvy chick. Guess that's why they had it on a professional dancer in the catalog. Oh well.

($350, J. Crew)

I have thought about this J. Crew "Delphinia" dress approximately 8,44,583 times a minute today, causing my personal productivity to come to a screeching... nay, SLAMMING halt! I have a wedding in Hawaii next month. Therefore I think I may need to pull the trigger.

Emilio Pucci Fall 2011

I love the dresses from the Pucci Fall 2011 collection. No wonder really since they're all covered in gorgeous, sparkling sequins.

tfs

Cutie

I love her dress! It is perfect for summer days and summer nights. And her hair is gorgeous like that.

Source: hanneli.com

Forget Paris...

I'll take this little trompe l'oeil ballerina print dress with a PRINT OF A DRESS on it instead. I love a self-referential dress.

($59, Oasis, Asos.com)

Plus, do you know what 59 American dollars will buy you in France? Not a fucking thing mon ami. Not a fucking thing.

Jessica Szohr Stole My Dress!

Jessica Szohr, take OFF my dress and give it back to me THIS INSTANT. Jessica has a habit of stealing clothes from me, you see? Seriously, HOW adorable is this alice + olivia by Stacey Bendet striped "Emmie" dress?

($368, Aliceandolivia.com)

I love how it's styled like vintage Barbie:

Furthermore, I like how it would go with MY ENTIRE WARDROBE! The shoe options alone!

($150, Topshop)

This dress is crying out -- nay, WEEPING -- for a pair of suede bow pumps!

Issa? Why? No Really. Why?

($341, Issa, Forward-Forward.com)

Because a nautical flag is not a dress.

Why Aren't I Wearing This: Presh & Pretty Once Upon A Time Heart Dress

Okay, even though I LOVE embroidering stuff, for I am a grammaw, I often think embroidered clothing can be kinda lame on adults. HOWEVER, I am lifting my embroidery ban for this super presh Once Upon A Time blue dress with a little black heart and arrows stitched on.

($167, Once Upon A Time, Farfetch.com)

In kind of the same way that the Comme des Garçons Play heart is just a little cute, this little embroidered heart is sweet but not too sugary.

Dear Preen Printed Dress: Why Do You Cost $1,195?

($1,195, Preen, BlueandCream.com)

Frowny fashion face. Pretty, pretty, pretty Preen dress. You're so out of my reach with your perfectly wide straps and fun layers and great graphic prints. Sigh. Here are some kinda-sorta black-and-white print dress lookalikes:

($484, Diane Von Furstenberg, Matchesfashion.com)

($78, Topshop)

(Apprx $60 USD, Missselfridge.com)

($250, Topshop.com)

JESUS MARY AND JOSEPH! 50 PERCENT OFF AT ACTIVE ENDEAVORS!

Now THAT'S what I call a Christmas miracle! EVERYTHING ON THE ENTIRE ACTIVE ENDEAVORS SITE is 50% off, only through midnight on December 19th. Use promo code "wishlist50." All returns for store credit only, so be sure before you pull that trigger, okay tiger?

Here are a few choice pix:

(Originally $347, TEMPORARILY $173, Abaete, ActiveEndeavors.com)


(Originally $432, TEMPORARILY $216, Abate, ActiveEndeavors.com)

This guy's blowin' my mind. Wedding dress shortlist potential even!

(Originally $295, TEMPORARILY $147.50, Charlotte Ronson, ActiveEndeavors.com)

Sorta Kristen Stewart as Joan Jett, a little, no?


(Originally $575, TEMPORARILY $287, Seven for all Mankind, ActiveEndeavors.com)

(Originally $450, TEMPORARILY $225, Loeffler Randall, ActiveEndeavors.com)

Even Loeffler Randall's studded Minnie Mouse Agatha bow flats are on sale!

GOD BLESS US ERRYONE!

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Harlequin Porn Convention...

($678, Interlude, eDressme.com)

I lived out an entire menstrual cycle's worth of emotions when I first looked at this hideous mess of a sequined mermaid dress. Eventually, I settled on "depression."

Dying For (Some But Not All) Daryl K Dresses

($352, Daryl K, Shopbop)

Probably because I'd see unloved, neglected pieces on the racks at Loehmann's and the like, I used to think of Daryl K as slightly skanky clubwear. But perhaps I think wrong (after all, this button-down couldn't be farther from slutty) because I LOVE this brown "paper bag" dress. This photo doesn't do it justice and only exacerbates its wet-look-ness. In person, it actually looks much classier and less shiny. It's extraordinarly soft too, but what really sold me is the amazing zipper trim. Okay, I will say that the cinched arms flatter absolutely no one, but I love the zipper trim so much I might almost overlook that. Well, what I guess I'm saying is that I love 75% of the dress. Though of COURSE, not with the boots.

I also love some of the dresses she's doing as part of her "Daryl K-189 & Co-Op" collaboration with Barneys Co-op. Check 'em out here.

I do, however, reserve the right to HATE this:

($780, Daryl K, Shopbop)

Um, $780 for a schmatte that looks like the scraps I used to practice sewing on? Um, no. This looks like 10 accidents.

If I Had Diane Kruger's Wardrobe...

...it would be easy as pie to get dressed for this Christmas' events. The only problem might be that I would have too many beautiful and stunning pieces to choose from. Ah, what a luxury problem!

Ps. I am very sorry that I haven't posted these last few days as I promised I would. I have been working a lot since it's close to Christmas + I'm ill + I haven't had internet access until now, so I hope I am excused. Thanks for reading, and I'll get back to all the great comments you've left me as soon as possible x x x

Ashish LUST + Sequined Boyfriend Blazers For A SONG

WHY aren't I wearing this one-shoulder NEON animal print Ashish dress RIGHT THIS MINUTE AS I BLOG THIS... instead of this 532-year-old polyester/rayon robe someone brought my mom back from China. That's not a racialist comment. It's just from China and it's made of really uncomfortable polyblend.

($895, Ashish, Net-a-porter.com)

Oh yeah. I guess I'm not wearing it because it's $895.

OhBTW, speaking of Ashish, I LOVE this Ashish black sequined boyfriend blazer (best friend blazer!), but it's $1020, and HI! The one I got at Fred Flare is $84. So I just saved you $936 (not including tax.) You're WELCOME.

L: $84, Fred Flare; R: $1020, Ashish

Completely Batshit Manoush Dress!

($591, Manoush, Farfetch.com)

Dude, this organiza/ leopard print/ crotchet-flower-collared Manoush dress is KILLING me with its overt insanity. I mean, it's like watching someone get a pie to the face, slip on a banana and somehow end up upright, coasting on a skateboard behind a parade float. THAT's how many things are going on here. It's like Anne Bancroft and Twiggy had a hardcore power struggle and paradoxically both and neither won. And really, how often can you say that?

(Credit: Bob Willouby/ LA Times)

50% Off Sale At Mod Cloth!

ModCloth.com is having a 50% off sale. Shop the entire sale here, check out JUST SOME of ModCloth's adorbs half-off dresses, accessories and more, and use promo code BINGE10 for 10% off!

($35, ModCloth.com)

Check out the very vintage-y looking beaded buttons and belt. How could this dress NOT flatter everyone?

($25, ModCloth.com)

... My mind reels at the thought of that dress with these black and gold cone heels.

($47.50, ModCloth.com)

A billion awesome skinny jeans and skirt and tights possibilities!!!

($6.50, ModCloth.com)

And is there even been an instrument of science that can measure how cute these wee elephant earrings are!?!??!

($32.50, ModCloth.com)

LURVE this. It reminds me a bit of my favey Christopher Deane chain dress.

($50, ModCloth.com)

These could almost be the funnest with some black skinny jeans.

($30, ModCloth.com)

Fun in a slutty nurse sorta way!

($17.50, ModCloth.com)

Great everyday bag at an even greater price!

A few items from their regular sale:

($52.49, Melie Bianco, ModCloth.com)

Excellent late-70s-ness.

($29, ModCloth.com)

This is kinda the type of thing I imagine René Lacoste carried around, even though he was French.

($8.99, ModCloth.com)

Oooh! Cuters pandars!

($49.99, ModCloth.com)

Not on sale, but I can't resist.

($11.99, ModCloth.com)

Resist me not!