I Dream Of Diane Von Furstenberg

($725, Diane Von Furstenberg, DVF.com)

I both dream of and die for this Diane Von Furstenberg navy sequin coat from the Diane Von Furstenberg Fall 2010 collection. Well, I die figuratively for it. Not literally. No coat is worth actually dying for. I knew I loved sequins, but I never knew I could love navy so much. I'm constantly amazing myself, aren't I? 

Diane Von Furstenberg coat

($495, Diane Von Furstenberg, Saksfifthavenue.com)

Please also note the excellence of the Axelle DVF sequined cardigan, which comes in black and navy. Normally I'd go for black sequins, but since I already own a black sequined cardigan and a black sequined t-shirt, I'd go for navy. Also, navy's apparently having a moment this fall.

Anyway, since I'm now clearly on a DVF binge, please enjoy my grown-up girl dress that I bought this summer. It's the DVF Anina khaki silk shirtdress, and it looks casual, but it's really not. It's basically a gorgeous earthy canvas that you can style approximately 17,032 different ways.

I bought my DVF Anina dress (on sale!) at Diane T., which is a really nice boutique in Cobble Hill. It's kind of like a touch on the more conservative/mainstream side than is Bird. And a hair more affordable.

Finally, I TRULY think someone should buy me this Diane Von Furstenberg leather wrap dress (!!!!). I've worked very hard this year, I've been a very good girl, and I always finish all of my broccoli before asking for dessert.

($945, Diane Von Furstenberg, NeimanMarcus.com)

Ashish LUST + Sequined Boyfriend Blazers For A SONG

WHY aren't I wearing this one-shoulder NEON animal print Ashish dress RIGHT THIS MINUTE AS I BLOG THIS... instead of this 532-year-old polyester/rayon robe someone brought my mom back from China. That's not a racialist comment. It's just from China and it's made of really uncomfortable polyblend.

($895, Ashish, Net-a-porter.com)

Oh yeah. I guess I'm not wearing it because it's $895.

OhBTW, speaking of Ashish, I LOVE this Ashish black sequined boyfriend blazer (best friend blazer!), but it's $1020, and HI! The one I got at Fred Flare is $84. So I just saved you $936 (not including tax.) You're WELCOME.

L: $84, Fred Flare; R: $1020, Ashish

Looks Like a Blazer, Feels Like a Cardigan!

Now that's my kind of blazer!



Silence & Noise sequined cardigan, $42.

Also...BREAKING:



Free People sequined blazer, $168, for when you just want to spend a little more.

Jessica Alba Power Dresses In Lanvin!

While I'm truly indifferent to Jessica Alba's comings and goings in this world, I do give her two style snaps for totally POWER DRESSING TO THE MAX in the Lanvin Pre-Fall 2009 metallic dress she wore to the Spike TV’s Scream Awards 2009 earlier this month.


It's SO Joan Collins in Dynasty.

HOLY SHIT. ANN TAYLOR HAS STEPPED IT THE EFF UP IN THE MOST REAL WAY

Yesterday I had THE MOST vile experience ATTEMPTING to browse wedding rings at Michael C. Fina -- they barely acknowledged my presence. Maybe they're not in the habit of... selling... fine jewelry? To people willing to pay good money for fine jewelry??? Seriously? I had to ASK the woman behind the counter for help. And I was the ONLY PERSON IN THE STORE. Ew. Sure, I was wearing fuchsia leather fingerless gloves, so she perhaps assumed I was a drug addict or a thief or something (wrong on both counts). In actually, I interested in what they had for sale. Sorry, but my father and my fiance's father were both in sales, and you never know who you're turning down or turning away. (In this case, A PERSON WITH A BLOG! Who's not afraid to share her shitty experience with the reading public! Three other friends told me they had same experience trying to shop there. Since when do you need to "TRY" to shop??) So turn away, I did. But not before I noticed they had like the TACKIEST crap for sale near the door -- Ed Hardy-esque flame-lick cuff links and stuff. EW. I headed over to the diamond district, which, sure, can be sharky, but people actually TOOK their time to talk to me like they gave a shit as I attempted to look for a piece of jewelry that symbolizes my love and committment to my partner. So thank you, diamond district dudes, for giving a shit. And fuck you, lady who works at Michael C Fina, for not giving a shit. Because I'm trying to buy my WEDDING rings, so yes, I do give a shit.

SOOOOOO, long story longer, after that, I stopped into Ann Taylor because they had sparkly things in the window. AND OH MY GOD. Ann Taylor has SEEEEEEEEEEEERIOUSLY stepped it ALL the way the fuck up and gone from Grandma to Grand-NAW! Like, such an epic makeover it's like when Sandy goes from boring to whoring at the end of Grease. Except obviously neither Sandy nor Ann Taylor is/ are whores.

Okay, check out ALL of the super cute things I found at Ann Taylor online that I would wear in a single solitary heartbeat.

($65, AnnTaylor.com)

WHO among us would NOT wear this amazement chunky statement necklace? NOT I! I can tell you that much.

($120, AnnTaylor.com)

Um, I'm sorry, but ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I can no longer separate rational needs from irrational wants when confronted with this metallic jacquard leopard-print skirt, Ann!

($85, AnnTaylor.com)

Lately all I can think about is Glee and sequiny things. Unsurprisingly. This sequined tank top is as perfect as Puck.

($175, AnnTaylor.com)

ANN! WTF! I LOVE this grey slouchy boot! Seriously!? Jamaican me CRAZY!

($175, AnnTaylor.com)

Ann! It's cool, not tryin' to put a rush on you. I just wanna let you know that I got a crush on you.

($100, AnnTaylor.com)

ANN! It's like you CREPT into my closet and KNEW I have the BEST orange suede vintage jacket that this would complement PERFECTLY! GAH! Ann, it's like you know me better than I know myself. You devil, you!

Hi! A whole Chanel-inspired outfit! Bar jacket and all! I ADORE YOU, ANN!

Cheap! Sequin Tee-Shirt! PERFECTION!

($36.90, Alloy)

I've been searching fruitlessly for a sequined t-shirt or tank I could dress up with skinny jeans or wear under a blazer, but everything I found was a few hundred bucks... EXCEPT THIS ONE! It's just $36! Thanks, Alloy!

Also, since I'm here, should I get these bleached skinny jeans? Eh?

($36.90, Alloy)

Frock Yeah: Alice + Olivia's Perfect Sequin Party Frock

($495, Alice + Olivia, Singer22.com)

I've spent far too much time this week indulging my sequined-frock fantasies, and this Alice + Olivia keyhole-back sequin number is like the Don Draper of sequined dresses as far as fantasies go, no? It's costly, to be sure, but it's so so so many dresses in one -- rough-n-tumble skinny sad punk, as illustrated above, blazer on top for a daytime look, or as it should be -- slicked-back hair, dark lips, almost no jewelry, black tights, black booties or patent heels for holiday fun. Done.

Pointless Over-The-Top Desires: 3.1 Phillip Lim Sequined Jacket

($1,500, 3.1 Phillip Lim, Net-a-porter.com)

I could do without the black ribbon sleeves, but who's counting. Check out that gorgeous metal work on the front. Now I've got something to wear if I ever make it out to the Liberace Museum.

Topshop Fall/ Winter 2009 Preview, Y'all!

In which I editorially select some of my FAVORITE pieces from Topshop's forthcoming Fall/ Winter '09er stuff. Did I hear a niner? Lots of chunky knits, studs, fake furs, feathers, and '90s grunge inspiration topped off with some '70s boho-meets-coke den attributes. Mix, but never match, okay? Look for the pieces to hit Topshop stores and Topshop.com starting nowish.


From the Horror Girls collection.



Will I EVER get over the raging perma-bone I have for pyramid studs?

Because I LOVE a sequin jacket, peeps!


Besides finding like $50 in your pocket, what's better than a banded sweater with a nice scoopneck, hm?









Both sweaters are from Markus Lupfer collection, and they're $170.

... Seriously, I will HAVE MY WAY with that leather bag and those black studded heels. Both are absolutely the last night I need right now (weddings don't pay for themselves, as it turns out!), but I can't stop OCDing about them in my widdle brain.

Okay, now for the Topshop Fall/ Winter '09 stuff that I am NOT feeling:

NO. Muppets died for these sins. I cannot handle THAT much '90s.

Please, no. Don't EVER EVER EVER wear a feather headdress unless you are an actual factual Native American engaging in some sort of purpose-driven ceremony.

Topshop's Answer To The Michael Jackson Jacket!

After my unfortunate stumble upon that tie dye/ airbrushed jeans monstrosity from Topshop earlier this week, my faith was restored when I discovered what I'm POSITIVE is Topshop's updated take on the classic red 1980s Michael Jackson jacket.

($160, Topshop)

Actually, it kinda looks more like Liza Minnelli jacket, but let's not be picky.

+ More sequin jackets I love.

Oh yeah, I saw on the "news" that Michael Jackson had an all-sequin bedspread. Vom. Also, I had a cornflower blue all-poly fake MJ jacket back in the day, haters. And I went to Israel when I was little and my parents bought me this peach-colored shirt with Michael on it. It was DOPE on a ROPE and I WISH I had an adult-sized one now. Boo.

You So NEED A Sequined Jacket For Fall... TRUST.

The prospect of sequined blazers make me SO wish it were fall instead of almost summer. And when it comes to sequins, I like my sequined apparel like I like my Waffle House hash browns: smothered and covered. Seriously, go big, go hard, or go home. Because you know what looks cheap and shoddy? Like three or four sequins timidly schlocked onto a tank top. SNORE, and go ask your grandma about that. Because you know what looks BOWIE as fuck? A cropped, fitted jacket FUCKING COVERED in sequins. (And check Project Rungay for a comprehensive list of designers who welcomed back the sequin for Fall 2009.)

Anyway, while this sequined jacket from the Chanel 2009 Resort collection is, ostensibly, just beyond my reach:... like in every way imaginable...

This sequined Topshop jacket is the do run run...

($370, Topshop)

True, $370 is "a lot of money," but a sequined jacket is an investment in your fashion future, and I read the newspapers (sometimes), and now is the time to INVEST (right? isn't it?)

($755, Les Chiffoniers, Net-a-porter.com)

It's also half the price of this gold sequined Les Chiffoniers jacket, which is intense. I mean, if I had a spare $755 and was in the market for a gold sequined jacket, which I am, this would be it.

($795, Diane Von Furstenberg, Net-a-porter.com)

I do have to say, I am NOT feeling this DVF sequined jacket. It's way too long in that kind of uncomfortable way when a bad joke won't end and just keeps going and going... Also, it's kind of fugnasty. And I don't care if it was glorious on Whitney Port. WE are not Whitney Port. Let her KEEP it. Team Topshop!

PS:

($332, Adam, Net-a-porter.com)
Never.