NEED, LIKE YESTERDAY: Beige Nude Heels. Now.

I CANNOT stop needing for beige heels for spring. Like so:

($80, BCBG, Zappos.com)

I love the simplicity here and the name: Cream Puff!

($83, rsvp, Zappos.com)

I have (unofficially) declared this the spring I go opentoe. But I kind of appreciate the aesthetic of an '80s-style monotone beige pump. I might make an exception for these though.

($304, Michael Kors, Zappos.com)

However, I'd absolutely make an exception for these excellent deconstructed beige and orange-toed heels. I mean, LOOK AT THEM.

($710, Vionnet, Net-a-porter.com)

These Vionnet beige leather heels are the Natalie Portman of footwear -- just plain perfect to look at, and also very expensive looking.

($476, Givenchy, Farfetch.com)

Clearly Givenchy's footwear design team has broken into my home, installed a secret camera in my bedroom, attached invisible electrodes to it, and monitored me sleeping to have created the shoe of my dreams. Obviously.

7th On Sale: Ebay Finds!

Ooops -- was having some Blogger issues... But we're back...

Okay, so aside from Parker Posey's hot mess, Michael Stipe's flasher outfit and Kate Spade's bizzare purple pup tent (see all and more mortses here), it turns out there actually is some good stuff up for grabz on 7th On Sale's eBay sale. Most of what I think is most spesh is the shoes. I've had a bunch of stuff in my watch list, and a lot of it went for mere PENNIES on the dollar, relatively speaking, of course. Observe, won't you?

APPAREL:

(Currently $31, Twinkle By Wenlan)

Unbelievably adorable. This one's a size 4, but I think there's also a 10.

(Currently $31, Theory)

Sweet little staple. Size 6.

(Currently $112, Topshop)

One of Kate Moss' very own Topshop designs. I believe this was the dress everyone was shitting nuts over? Anyway, here it is in size 6. As always, spoon and lighter sold separately!

(Currently $55, Topshop)

Though I love this one more. GAH! I LOVE HOLIDAY PARTY DRESSES! GAH! Size 8.

(Currently $34, Halston, Topshop)

Not sure if this size 6 maxi dress is vintage Halston or what, but it's a great price, and it's never too early to start shopping for summer.

(Currently $33, Topshop)

Love this in theory, but in practice, puffy plaid may not go well with my curvy 5'2" frame, eh? It's lovely though. Probably best left to tall floggers like our Ms. Spinach!

(Currently $33, Topshop)

This jacket freaking RULES, but again, with my shortness and disproportionate chestal curves, I don't know if I could pull it off without looking like Betty Boob. Size 8.

(Currently $127, Yigal Azrouel)

The jacket's the thing here, y'all. Very cute -- black, metallic, size 4.

(Currently $8.60!!!, Topshop)

Ahhhh grey skinny jeans. The quilted Chanel bag of ... jeans. Love these. They're size 6/ 28.

(Currently $18, Loomstate)

Really cute, and they come in a few different sizes.


BAGS BAGS BAGS!

(Currently $202, Mulberry)

The Blenheim bag. Gorgeous.

(Currently $222, Michael Kors)

Apparently the one up for auction is the black version. Lovely, but I doubt I'd be willing to spend more than $200-something on it.

(Currently $185, Salvatore Ferragamo)

Beautemous color.

SHOES. OMG. SHOES:

(Currently $78, Ferragamo)

Size 7. Love the woven detailing throughout. Nice variation on sometimes-boring brown pumps. Yay!

(Currently $47, Pedro Garcia)

Apparently these are black, though they look a little purple in the photo. Regardless, these are such great holiday flats. Size 7.

(Currently $50, Jean-Michel Cazabat)

Granted, I'd fucking KILL myself in these, they're pretty amazing. More power to you if you can walk in a wedge (in wintery conditions!) and you're a size 7.

(Currently $50, Jean-Michel Cazabat)

More picture-perfect Christmasy shoes. Size 10.

(Currently $108, Giuseppe Zanotti)

Size 9. Probably my favorite of their shoe offerings.

(Currently $100, Alejandro Ingelmo)

Second faves. Size 8.

(Currently $94, Burberry)

Well hello ubiquitous Burberry studded sandals. We've seen you before. If you're the type of person to care about seasonal stuff, a.) you probably aren't reading this and b.) you probably already own these. But if you don't and you don't, now could be your chance. These are size 8.5 but they have a bunch of other sizes too. I personally love these and think they're actually pretty timeless.


SKATE:

(Currently $22, Cynthia Rowley)

Cuteness, and ONE SIZE FITS ALL!

Beautiful Pieces For Beautiful Fall

YAAAAY! It's FINALLY FUCKING FALL! My favoritest time of the year both weather- and fashion-wise! Here are some beautiful deep, rich, dark fall-colory pieces for one to dream about and potentially buy.

($44, Lian Carlo, Vintageamore.com)

I'm not sure how a purveyor of otherwise super-fugz bridal gowns and eveningwear could create such a thing of Abaete-esque beauty, but they done did it. Unfortunately this is only avaible, from Vintageamore.com, at least, in size 6.

($465, Tufi Duek, Nordstrom)

Dude. DUDE. Dude. Tufi Duek is a god among mortals.

($420, Sass & Bide, Standardstyle.com)

Sass & Bide are NOT far behind. I'd wear this thing every day of the week if I had to.

($302, Madison Marcus, Shopintuition.com)

This looks a lot like that blue dress Jessica Simpson's been running around in, though I like this one better.

($205, Development, Madisonlosangeles.com)

Ooooh so perf with a thin black cardi!

($297, 12th Street By Cynthia Vincent, Bluefly)

Casual yet posh staple!

($94, Oh Deer! Nordstrom)

OMG. Check out the obscenely cute sequin detailing. I think I'm slowly warming to T-straps.

($88, Anne Klein, Amazon)

Pure fall jewel-toned beauty!

($59, Style & Co, Macys)

Very nice...

($128, Michael Kors, Nordstrom)
But not as nice as these. LOVE!



($68, Shopsueyboutique.com)

Yes, I know it's a BLATANT Marc Jacobs knockoff, but I sorta almost don't care because I love the Deco hardware so much.

($48, French Connection)
Sheer fall beauty time! All in one bag!

Two Words, Michael Kors:

Taste. Level.



KORS Michael Kors Slicker Lace-Up Rubber Boot, $295.

The Highs And Very Low Lows Of Cut-Out Heels

I'm truly not the biggest fan of cut-out shoes, especially when they're not sandals; the exception, however, would be Loeffler Randall's cut-out pumps, platforms, booties, and various iterations:

($575, Loeffler Randall, Active Endeavors)

These I can basically deal with. Loeffler Randall, they seem to know what they doing!

Therefore I was glad to see these far-more-affordable knock-knock-knock-offs at Victoria's Secret:

($150, Victoria's Secret)

At those prices, it's like two Loeffler Randalls for the price of one! And I really like the grey and black onesies. They're like the Herve Leger bandage dress of shoes!

($129, Michael Kors, Amazon)

Also okay!

($775, Chloe, Intermix)

Lurves the heel detailing, but OY VA VOY, too much patent. Heidi Montag also favors these, so that'll tell you something right there:


More bad cut-out heels and shoes:

(Giuseppe Zanotti, Intermix)

More like Giuseppe Za-not-ti. OH SHIT! Like something Christina Aguilera picked up at J.Lo's garage sale. Horbs.

($925, Dior, Neiman Marcus)

These Dior heels are either tragically melded together like couture conjoined twins, or else we caught them in the act of copulation. And I didn't know shoes could have sex.

($48, Jeffrey Campbell, 6pm.com)

The exact wrong way to do animal prints. Shudder!!


Um, perhaps the less said about these horrific Pierre Hardy cut-out shoes the better.

(Apprx $120, Topshop)

It's a sandal AND a boot! Rrr... remind me why again?

(Sold out, Chloe, Saks)

That these are sold out suggests to me that there are hundreds, nay THOUSANDS of women out there with equally horbs taste. The horror!

($160, HedoFashions.com)

Thankfully there are several of these disturbing stripper shoes left in all sizes!

($47, Pleaser, Amazon)

Perhaps unsurprisingly, these are mainly available in men's sizes.

($149, John Fluevog)

Marked down from $239. Priced to move. Quickly, one would hope. Gahr.

($48, Urban Outfitters)

The paperbag as shoe! Recyclable footwear, folks!