Saks Sells Sweatshorts

No, that's not a tongue twister. It's just the truth.

($63.00, Gryphon, Saksfifthavenue.com)

And perhaps the most troubling thing about the existence of these Gryphon denim sweatshorts is I actually considered buying them. What? Don't laugh! My baggy, cuffed drawstring denim sweatpants are really working for me in a sort of Isabel Martant-ish way.

By the way, Saks is having a serious sale, and promo code "HOLIDAYS" = free shipping!

Dresses: Shiny, Sparkly, Bold & Bright

A billion (okay, more like a dozen) drool-inducing sparkly, shiny, luxe and lush dresses for les holiday season!

($456, Nanette Lepore, Net-a-porter.com)

So deliciously late-70s. Glittery and glam yet still sexy and seductive without showing too-too much (yes, it's short, but this would look perfect with black tights.)

($925, See By Chloe, Net-a-porter.com)

Square sequins = manna from heaven. Though for nearly a grand, they better have been handsewn by elves.

($89, Asos.com)

I like this, but is it a little too obviously like "Hey! Look at me! I'm doing the jeweled dress trend!"?

($418, Petro Zillia, ShopPetroZillia.com)

Same thing? The paper bag waist might not be necessary, but it is helpful if you're hiding a fetus... or a food baby.

($300, Dallin Chase, Blaec.com)

Way chiller. And it looked adorbs on J.Lo:

($265, Karta, Net-a-porter.com)

A nice way to work the metallic trend without going too overboard. This piece still has a sorta folksy feel to it. Yay!

($660, Abaete, Bergdorf Goodman)

Or you could go TOTALLY overboard with this amazingly fun Abaete tank dress covered in paillettes. I know I would.

($795, Stella McCartney, Net-a-porter.com)

Also a beautiful holiday piece -- a healthy alternative to the I'm-not-wearing-a-dress-so-I'm-wearing-a-sparkly-top-and-black-pants look.

($348, Marc by Marc Jacobs, Bergdorf Goodman)

Perfect perfect perfect holiday dress. Love the contrast of the elegant eggplant and the more bright and festive sash. Yay!

($450, Abaete, Saks Fifth Avenue)

Absolutely stunning. Soooo Grecian goddess-chic. Though even a Grecian goddess might not be able to rock this very slim-lookin' number. Hm. Best left on the racks and to you rail-thin 55378008 chicks out there.

($587, Viktor & Rolf, Net-a-porter.com)

Oh mah stars. I freaking LOVE this. It's like Knots Landing goes to Colette. Want want want!

'80s DRAMA!

The Highs And Very Low Lows Of Cut-Out Heels

I'm truly not the biggest fan of cut-out shoes, especially when they're not sandals; the exception, however, would be Loeffler Randall's cut-out pumps, platforms, booties, and various iterations:

($575, Loeffler Randall, Active Endeavors)

These I can basically deal with. Loeffler Randall, they seem to know what they doing!

Therefore I was glad to see these far-more-affordable knock-knock-knock-offs at Victoria's Secret:

($150, Victoria's Secret)

At those prices, it's like two Loeffler Randalls for the price of one! And I really like the grey and black onesies. They're like the Herve Leger bandage dress of shoes!

($129, Michael Kors, Amazon)

Also okay!

($775, Chloe, Intermix)

Lurves the heel detailing, but OY VA VOY, too much patent. Heidi Montag also favors these, so that'll tell you something right there:


More bad cut-out heels and shoes:

(Giuseppe Zanotti, Intermix)

More like Giuseppe Za-not-ti. OH SHIT! Like something Christina Aguilera picked up at J.Lo's garage sale. Horbs.

($925, Dior, Neiman Marcus)

These Dior heels are either tragically melded together like couture conjoined twins, or else we caught them in the act of copulation. And I didn't know shoes could have sex.

($48, Jeffrey Campbell, 6pm.com)

The exact wrong way to do animal prints. Shudder!!


Um, perhaps the less said about these horrific Pierre Hardy cut-out shoes the better.

(Apprx $120, Topshop)

It's a sandal AND a boot! Rrr... remind me why again?

(Sold out, Chloe, Saks)

That these are sold out suggests to me that there are hundreds, nay THOUSANDS of women out there with equally horbs taste. The horror!

($160, HedoFashions.com)

Thankfully there are several of these disturbing stripper shoes left in all sizes!

($47, Pleaser, Amazon)

Perhaps unsurprisingly, these are mainly available in men's sizes.

($149, John Fluevog)

Marked down from $239. Priced to move. Quickly, one would hope. Gahr.

($48, Urban Outfitters)

The paperbag as shoe! Recyclable footwear, folks!

Striped Sweaters Forever!

Even with a cigarette in hand, Katherine Heigl is a pretty, pretty princess. She always looks great in stripes, don't she? And I LOVE her Juicy Couture striped cardigan -- seriously, she even manages to make beige beautiful! -- available here:

($278, Juicy Couture, Shopbop.com)


($278, Juicy Couture, Revolveclothing.com)

I also love it in black, but ahmahgah, this chick is TO'. UP.

($268, Juicy Couture, Saks Fifth Avenue)
Also cute in dress form.



($160, Line, Saks Fifth Avenue)

Pair red stripes with almost any dark color and you run the risk of looking like you're TRYING to dress like a member of Panic! At The Disco, but for some reason, this tunic sweater pulls it off without the Hot Topic effect.

($129, Sutton Studio, Bloomingdales)
Mmm. Cashmere AND silk. Delish.


($327, Trovata, Revolveclothing.com)

Show me a dude who doesn't look cute in a striped sweater and I'll show you... a dude who just isn't cute, unfortunately.

($168, Juicy Couture, Saks Fifth Avenue)

For some reason, I almost find these fun barbed wire stripes sorta smart and not schticky!

($49, Urban Outfitters)
Herringbone stripes = fantastic!


($72, Paul Frank, Urban Outfitters)
Mmmm. Orange! Bring on the CHILL!

Awesome Shit, Some On Sale

Two collections of gorgeous items. They're all lovely. They're just not all within my budget... Oh who am I kidding -- I can't stick to a budget.


STEAL IT

($865, Christian Louboutin, Saks Fifth Avenue)

Prettier than the prettiest princess in the pod. Sigh.

($578, Anna Sui, Madisonlosangeles.com)

Very cute. But maybe a little TOO early '60s??

($545, Thomas Wylde, Net-a-porter.com)

My favorite piece of the post.

($395, Michael Kors, Saks Fifth Avenue)

Nothing earth-shattering here, yet I just love it.

($350, Milly, Net-a-porter.com)

So elegant. So perfectly wintery. So want it.

($265, Jalda, Saks Fifth Avenue)
Luscious.

YOUR ACCOUNTANT LOVES YOU...

($496, Stella McCartney, Net-a-porter.com)

... Because you know a good deal when you see one. Plus, the layering practically means you get three tops for the price of one!

($339, Zac Posen, Saks Fifth Avenue)

Surely this is even cuter in person. And with some cute opaque tights and booties.

($312, Botkier, Ssense.com)

This is half beautiful, half looks like it came from within.

($258, DKNY)

If you can find a more versatile dress, lemme know.

($229, Ports 1961, Saks Fifth Avenue)

Gorgeous, eventhough this does sorta look like something you'd find at H&M.

($145, Mike & Chris, Rarechic.com)

Come and just TRY to tell me this dress isn't serious sexytime. And NOT just because this chick probably isn't wearing anything underneath. Ahh... just PERFECT for the office, no?

($97, Cass Guy, Rarechic.com)

How perfect would this look under a grey or navy cardigan?

($95, Plenty By Tracy Reese, Labelspree.com)

I know I've posted this before, but I rediscovered, and now it's even closer to cold weather time. Yay! Get it! (Whoops. My inner voice started typing).

($88, Dusty Of California, Bussstopshop.com)

Utterly adorable. I can't even deal with all of the what-to-wear-on-the-bottom options that this dress comes with.

($85, James Coviello, Saks Fifth Avenue)

Normally this sweater would NEVER be my thing, but it just has some sort of Natalie Portman je ne sais qoui. Although I'm fairly positive that simply wearing this sweater wouldn't magically give me an adorable pixie cut and perfectly placed mole. Though I didn't read "The Secret," and perhaps I should.

($75, Naughty Monkey, Redvelvetcouture.com)

This is a prime example of the type of thing I probably wouldn't dream of getting on my own, but then I'd stop by a friend's apartment on our way to go to the movies, and I'd just pop in to use her bathroom really quickly because it's on the way to the theater, and these would just be sitting on her living room floor next to the paper, and I'd see them and be like HOLY FUCK WHERE'D YOU GET THOSE? WHAT THE FUCK? THOSE ARE FUCKING AWESOME! And she'd blow it off because to her they're no big deal and totally her and we'd maybe be running late to the movie, but then all I'd be able to think about for like the next week would be those boots. And the movie would be totally ruined for me. That's how sick these boots are. At least to me.

($69, Dolce Vita, Shopbop.com)

Great, huh?

(Apprx $50 USD, Topshop.com)

These are so fun, but they'd be hard to wear without running the risk of some d-bag at work or something coming up to you and bein' like "So, you're bringin' the '80s back, eh, Material Girl?" or something completely lame like that, so it almost makes them not worth it...

(Apprx $30 USD, Topshop.com)

So you're probably best off going with something like this. Ugh. I hate d-bags.