Cute Shirt Alert: 7 For All Mankind/ Mika Ninagawa Photo-Print Flower Tee

($89, 7ForAllMankind.com)

While I'M SUPER particular about floral prints -- forecast: sometimes cute, with a high chance of OD'ing on '90s grunge-girl nostalgia -- I freaking LOVE a photo print. Especially 7 For All Mankind's small collection of Japanese photographer Mika Ninagawa's floral photos. I LOVE the bold fuschias and quick flashes of blue.

It's a LITTLE tricky to style without veering into Totally Cheesy Territory (avoid the overly obvious black pants/ black blazer combo because then the shirt's just way too loud) but I'm thinking these light-rinse Gap jeans:

($69.50, Gap)

... And (stay with me here) some nice neutral sculptural shoes like:

($210, Pour La Victoire, Zappos.com)

I can't personally do wedges, but I LOVE these Pour La Victorie grey cut-out wedges.

Anyway, love the floral photo-print lily tee. It's basically the Bjork Post album cover of shirts.

NEED, LIKE YESTERDAY: Beige Nude Heels. Now.

I CANNOT stop needing for beige heels for spring. Like so:

($80, BCBG, Zappos.com)

I love the simplicity here and the name: Cream Puff!

($83, rsvp, Zappos.com)

I have (unofficially) declared this the spring I go opentoe. But I kind of appreciate the aesthetic of an '80s-style monotone beige pump. I might make an exception for these though.

($304, Michael Kors, Zappos.com)

However, I'd absolutely make an exception for these excellent deconstructed beige and orange-toed heels. I mean, LOOK AT THEM.

($710, Vionnet, Net-a-porter.com)

These Vionnet beige leather heels are the Natalie Portman of footwear -- just plain perfect to look at, and also very expensive looking.

($476, Givenchy, Farfetch.com)

Clearly Givenchy's footwear design team has broken into my home, installed a secret camera in my bedroom, attached invisible electrodes to it, and monitored me sleeping to have created the shoe of my dreams. Obviously.

'Tis The Season For Fugs Footwear: The Holiday Edition

Truthfully, the only thing these shoes have to do with the holidays is that it's the middle of the December. Now that I've cleared that up, let's get to it:

($164, Glory Chen, Endless.com)

You don't even need to have seen the inside of this person's home to know that it's decorated in that depressing pastel "Southwestern" Stucco style.

($50, Schuh)

How can just one pair of cheap shoes say so much about unfulfilled expectations?

($470, Bernard Wilhelm, Shopfatal.com)

Remember the '80s? Yeah? Me too. Some things are best left there.

($198, Free People)

Aye caballero. No mas, por favor!


(Apprx $152, Topshop)

Perhaps these "Gladiator" boots were named after the movie, which would explain why they suck so epically.

($109, Type Z, Zappos)

Can whoever took Apollonia's purple suede "shoobies" without asking please return them? She's getting pissed.

($2,350, Christian Louboutin, Net-a-porter.com)

FINALLY! A boot that lets me pay tribute to both "Hellraiser" and "Blade Runner" at the same time.

($78, Naughty Monkey, Zappos)

Sometimes, "knowing when to say when" applies to the Bedazzler too.

December 18th Is Free Shipping Day!

Apparently Christmas miracles DO happen, because December 18th is Free Shipping Day.

Just order shit from Bloomingdale's, Macy's, Crate & Barrel, Endless.com, Nordstrom, Sur La Table, Target, Zappos, and more on December 18th, and your stuff ships free and it's guaranteed to get there by Christmas Eve (or, just "Wednesday night," if you don't celebrate His Birthday).

Also, December 18th is Christina Aguilera's birthday, so if you buy her something, you can ship it for free!

UPDATE: Amazon is no longer participating, but December 18th is STILL Christina Aguilera's birthday!

Take A Bow: Adorable Bow Heels!

Yay for heels and flats with adorbs bow accents -- a totes yay way to femme up menswear. So, shall we? Let's!

($132, Betsey Johnson, Amazon)

These have a great Deco feel. Like, if The Rocketeer were a chick, she'd wear these. Which brings me to my recent awesome idea: a Rockettes-Rocketeer mash-up called the Rocketettes. It'd basically be a Rockettes dance show, but it'd be more performance art-y, and they'd be dressed like Rocketeers. Awesome, right?

(Apprx $61 USD, Schuh.co.uk)

Such a cute alternative to regular ol' black pumps. Yay for me: I just bought a similar pair from H&M the other week, but they were patent leather (but not TOO shiny) and had a lower heel for added comfiness.

($190, Taryn, Zappos)

D'Orsay = mas sophisticado.

($60, MIA, Piperlime)

Patent leather bow pumps = really cute in red! They come in black too.

(Apprx $51 USD, Schuh.co.uk)

Slightly ridiculous, but ridiculously fun.

($176, Nana, Yoox.com)

Usually I'm not into grommets and punch-outs and stuff, but MAAAAN would I ever make an exception for these Nana boots.

k. FIN!

Wednesday 'Frye' Day Boot Binge!

Three pairs of Frye boots and shoes and shooties that I'm seriousla sweatin'!

($188, TheFryeCompany.com)

Saw these in the window of Soula and was inexplicably attracted to their sorta sexy/ugly nature. Sorta like the way some ladies find Steve Buscemi attractive.

($227, Frye, Zappos)

LOVE the perforated Paige boots with a buckle. And, THANK Methuselah, Zappos redesigned!!

($202, Frye, Zappos)

Love the antiquey design of the Zappos Ava Oxford. Maje wants!

Amazing! (?) Convertible! Camileon Heels!

We can't elect a woman president (in this country) or get paid as much as men, but God damn it all, we members of the fairer sex CAN have a flat and pump all in one!


The Camileon heel is a convertible heel, designed by a very smart doctor, and it goes from flat to high and back again by its secret, patented James-Bond-in-a-skirt-esque MAJE TECHNOLOGY MIRACLE SCIENCES. The secret,which I'll now reveal, is that THE HEEL RETRACTS AND FOLDS INTO THE SOLE OF THE SHOE! OMG! This is supposed to be extra better for you to walk around in, and it's supposed to also give you mindblowing orgasms every time you put them on.


Shoewawa covered them earlier this year, and Zappos has them for the not-comfortable price of $288, which is sorta like paying $144 for one pair of shoes, but still, that's a lot for weird-looking shoes. They've also got several other pairs in varying degrees of ugliness (though not as uggo as these.)

Just look how much more psyched about her life this woman is.

To me, they look like broken heels. At this point in my life, I can handle the BIG DECISION in the morning of which footwear is most appropriate for the day. Even living in New York, where I walk A LOT, I feel like I don't need a pair of magic shoes. But maybe I'm just a simpleton and not cut out for these fancy, new-fangled crazy ideas. Maybe I am, and maybe I also am.

Who Was Drunk On The Job At Giuseppe Zanotti?

($854, Giuseppe Zanotti, Zappos Couture)

Christ in a cupboard. Aren't these just the perfect portrait of subtle serenity? Like a swan on a placid fucking lake.

Even the description of this shitstorm of a shoe is a runway train of excess: "Iridescent metallic leather upper with a patent lip detail on the heel quarter and a croc print patent strap on the vamp."

Also, there's a jeweled buckle. If you hadn't noticed.

Less horrible but also questionable:

($132 USD, Office.co.uk)

Eeeesh. Of course, after that Giuseppe Zanotti farrago, anything looks decent.

($124, Office.co.uk)

Or, instead of buying this obscenely overreaching, potentially crippingly AND tacky wooden wedge heel, you could save your money and just split a log in half, hollow it out, and stick your foot inside. Voilà! Free shoes!

Footwear Friday

Okay, here's a Freaky Friday Fun Fact: I really don't like ice cream much. Something about the salt content and how all that soda makes me crave gallons of water for a freaking fortnight. But what I DO like is cone heels. So, let's begin, shall wes?

Ahhh the Lanvin cone heel -- the daddy mack of them all. J'adore! They're not easy to get your hands on, but I did find a pair of the blue ones, and if you're a size 40, you're in luck.

($567, Lanvin, Marissacollections.com)

Sure, they're totally unwalkable, but if you're spending that kinda cash on heels, you probably can afford cabs. There are also a handful of pairs on eBay.

($278, Hugo, Zappos)

A gorgeous alternative to Lanvin, and they're patent leather too! Two trends for half the price of one!

($75, Na Na, Piperlime)

These are gorgeous -- and gorgeously priced -- in black too, but the olive is really unique.

($125, Vince Camuto, Piperlime)

The snakeskin, peep toe and chunky heel combine to make this shoe a sexy stunner.

($398, Tapeet, Zappos)

Another great chunky-heeled version in a metallic.

($28, Delicious, Lulusfashionlounge.com)

Simple, sexy, super affordable = sold.

($17.99, eBay)

Really can't argue with the price here.

($175, Report, Piperlime)

Simply beautiful.

($171, Fornarina, Zappos)

I'm not too into snakeskin, but I could certainly make an exception for these.

($138, daniblack, Zappos)

And I could absolutely make an exception for these...

($201, Via Spiga, Zappos)

Love the cut of these. They're sorta '80s rich-girl prepster in the best possible way.

($72, Pink Studio, Lulusfashionlounge)

How can you even tolerate how cute the polka dos are? Normally rosy tan and light blue is so vomitoriously kountry kitchen, but it works so perfectly here. A great work shoe.

($185, Miss Sixty)

I could probably do a week's worth of posts on Oxfords alone, but these are also great work wear.

($442, Costume National, Zappos)

As are these. Ultimate power bitch banker heel. Woo!

($89, Thom Browne)

And her opposite, the fun-lovin' hippie kid sister who comes to visit for the weekend and leaves crumbs everywhere.

($171, Fornarina, Zappos)

Fun and festive.

($25, Abate For Payless)

My Lord I love high-end/low-rent collabos!


... And finally... my two faves...

($175, Report Signature, Piperlime)

Oh yes. Yes yes yes. Oh yes indeed.


... And...

($625, Pucci, Net-a-porter.com)

Possibly the most best shoes ever in the universe and history of all shoes forever and ever amen.